Examples of Making Amends in Recovery Addiction Resources

Many recovering alcoholics have relapsed when they allowed their fears to block them from completing step nine. For example, Dr. Bob, one of the original founders of the AA program, could not stay sober until he went around town and made amends to all those he had hurt. The 12-step program instills honesty and integrity in members. If making amends requires the recovering alcoholic to report a past crime, they must be willing to go to jail to complete this step on their road to a complete and limitless recovery. From the steps leading up to nine, recovering alcoholics begin to develop tools to handle stressful situations without liquor and believe in a Higher Power greater than themselves. When someone is struggling with substance abuse, their disease affects not only themselves but also everyone around them.

• If you’re following the 12 Steps, making a list is Step 8.
• Sometimes direct amends are not possible, and this is where living amends come into play.
• The guilt for your wrongdoings will eventually dissipate and by making an apology and amends, you will be able to let go and live.
• Demographic preferences related to the addicts’ drug of choice has led to the creation of Cocaine Anonymous, Crystal Meth Anonymous and Marijuana Anonymous.
• He told me that my self-centeredness had caused him the most harm in our relationship.
• Whether or not you’re intimately familiar with the Twelve Steps of AA, you’ve probably heard of Step Nine.

How the AA Promises Work

And when it comes to our family and children, we might be particularly interested in speeding that process along. I have made many amends for my past while living as an alcoholic. Amends allow me to also right the wrongs I may continue to make. It is freedom from behaviors that do not live up to the new life in sobriety I am choosing to live.

What Are Some Other Books About the 12 Steps?

Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles. Remember, this is a Twelve Step process that can provide a platform for healing, but the person we are reaching out to may not be at the same place in healing as we are. We are only in control of our part—making and living the amends. As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people. We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments. Living amends is a third option for those in the ninth step of recovery.

Step Nine: Making Amends in Recovery

The AA promises big book were a response to the need for positive affirmations and encouragement within the AA community. Many individuals in recovery struggle with feelings of hopelessness and despair, and the promises were created to provide a roadmap for a more positive future. The 12 step promises help individuals regain a sense of confidence and purpose in their lives. They promote emotional and spiritual growth and help individuals connect with others who are also committed to sobriety. By embracing the promises, individuals can experience a range of benefits, including improved mental and emotional health and greater overall well-being.

The Twelve Steps and the 12 step promises

The FHE Health team is committed to providing accurate information that adheres to the highest standards of writing. This is part of our ongoing commitment to ensure FHE Health is trusted as a leader in mental health and addiction care. Some of these same things can happen to the other person in the process. They may find resolution and understanding about the past. Or, they may gain greater insights about addiction and commit to being a more supportive person in your recovery.

After you’ve completed steps 1 through 7, you’ll know when it’s the right time to make amends. The initial 7 steps are about inward self-reflection and transformation, while steps 8 and 9 focus on fixing interpersonal relationships. Step 8 is confronting your mistakes and making a list of people you have hurt with your negative actions.

For many who lived in addiction, apologizing was a regular habit. Whether it was apologizing for being late for work, missing an event, misusing property or stealing money to support an addiction, expressing remorse was likely a daily occurrence. The guilt may have been real, but the apology didn’t come with lasting change. For every time you said you’d be there or that you’d help someone do something and didn’t show up, you’ve left an impression upon that person that they can’t rely on you to keep your word. You can start making amends by showing up, even if it’s years later, to do the things you said you’d do. In addition, the promises can help individuals better manage stress and anxiety.

Wilson met Akron surgeon Robert Smith at an Oxford Group meeting. Both Wilson and Smith found that The Oxford Group’s treatment of sin as a “disease” resonated in discussions of their struggles living amends with alcohol. The 12 Principles of AA drew heavily from these spiritual elements. If we want to be forgiven, we have to be patient, because it may not come today, tomorrow or the next day.

Steps for Making Living Amends